Dear Readers, It was middle school, and we were working on a science fair project. My cheerleader friends and I had grouped up as lab partners to unravel the burning scientific question: “Does the number of eggs affect a cake?” It was one of those questions real scientists have been investigating for centuries, obviously.
We carefully counted and measured, jotting down all our data in composition notebooks. As our cakes baked, they started overflowing and oozing out of their tiny round pans. It was a disaster! I called our teacher in a panic, asking what to do with our failed experiment. She calmly replied, “Failure is part of science — just be sure to record what happened.”
Today, that overflowing batter feels like an oddly perfect metaphor for life — especially right now. I keep finding myself with all the “right ingredients,” but things keep spilling over in ways I can’t predict or control. All I can do is keep trying to clean it up as I go.
You don’t need me to tell you it’s a rough time out there. All around, things feel overbaked — politically, socially, you name it. People are tense, frightened, and looking for answers. I’m no different. I want to give my kids a better life, a stable home and a sense of possibility. I thought I had that in place, but here I am, halfway across the world, fighting a legal battle just to be with them.
Sometimes, it feels like no matter how many eggs we add to the mix — our degrees, our work ethic, our stability — it’s never quite “enough.” There’s always something. The cake still overflows.
For women especially, there’s this unspoken Goldilocks expectation that we should have it all just right. I feel connected to Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton and even Ayla from “Clan of the Cave Bear” — women who put in so much work to break through and build something, only to find society telling us we still don’t quite measure up. It’s frustrating, it’s exhausting, yet nevertheless, we persist.
This week, I wanted to offer a column that acknowledges our collective stress. I considered going the route of a proverbial puppy-and-kitten meme, offering something sweet as a nibble of cake amid *motions everywhere*. I know we all could use a break from the bitterness of the world. And, while I’m not offering a perfectly frosted layer cake with the pretty roses on top, maybe I can offer a slice that’s a little lumpy, a tad uneven, baked with either too many or too few eggs, and requires lots of oven cleaner and elbow grease.
It’s messy and imperfect, but indeed, that’s what life is. Science, my friends.
If you’re out there feeling like life is a gooey batter of uncertainty and dread, know that you’re not alone. I’m with you in this kitchen, stirring, adjusting, and analyzing the successes and failures. Together, we are still experimenting, cracking eggs, testing recipes, and panic-calling our teachers.
I should mention that I dislike frosting, so I’m giving you this little plain ol’ piece of cake. It’s sans icing, but I promise it’s baked with watchful care. Keep trying to bake something meaningful. We gotta keep on experimenting til we get it right. Xoxo,
Kelly Stone is an educator, comedian, mother and author who loves the heck outta the river. She welcomes e-letters at kellystone. org or [email protected] and adores handwritten notes and postcards via good ol’ snail mail: R. das Combatentes da Grande Guerra 47, FRAC R, Aveiro, Portugal 3810-087
