DEAR ABBY: I chaired an event with a local service organization. Many hours were exhausted with planning and decorating. During the program, a few members playfully started throwing some items from the centerpieces at the guest speakers. By the end of the program, most of the room’s centerpieces were dismantled and on the floor.
My committee had the job of cleanup, which was difficult and tedious. We felt the many hours we spent planning and doing hard work were disrespected because of these juvenile antics. This was an end-of-year program, ringing in new officers and celebrating a wonderful previous year, and there are always some lighthearted shenanigans. But I’ve never experienced total chaos before. Should I say something or chalk it up to celebrating a successful year’s end? – FLABBERGASTED IN TEXAS DEAR FLABBERGASTED: Were these lighthearted members drunk or just disorderly? “Lightheartedly” destroying the centerpieces and throwing parts of them at the speakers? How disrespectful to everyone involved, not to mention potentially dangerous! I don’t think what happened should be ignored. By all means, speak up. You and the other committee members are certainly entitled to let the perpetrators know how it made you feel. You’re not the only person who is flabbergasted. So am I.
DEAR ABBY: What can I buy for Christmas for my brother who is terminally ill with cancer? Nothing seems right – not music, books or any of the things he has always enjoyed. I’m at a loss. Any thoughts? – SADDENED IN OREGON DEAR SADDENED: I am so sorry about your brother’s diagnosis. The surest way to give him something he will enjoy would be to ask him what he would like. His activities may be diminished, but he can point you in the right direction. DEAR ABBY: My youngest daughter will be getting married in three months. I am 69 and have been a widower for six years. I have been dating a widow, “Rose,” who was a high school friend I bumped into at church while she was in town caring for her mother after our spouses passed away. She is well-accepted by my family and friends.
Rose is concerned about her role in the wedding. I have discussed this with her and indicated that her role is to be a guest of the wedding couple as well as my date for the evening. I believe this is appropriate and the right way to address this situation. I would appreciate any additional comments or suggestions you may have. – FATHER OF THE BRIDE IN MICHIGAN DEAR FATHER: I gather from your question that you may be receiving some pressure from your lady friend to participate in the wedding. She may be well-accepted by the family, but if your youngest daughter and her fiance wanted Rose to be more than a welcome guest, they would have invited her to be part of the bridal party. Tell Rose that she is your date, and her role is to attend, have a good time with you and support the happy couple.
