OP / ED
ELY DOYLE, LYDIA DOBBINS & HANYUE ZHANG-HALL HAYS CALDWELL WOMEN’S CENTER
The following article is the fourth installment of a five-week series focusing on raising awareness about domestic violence. Oct. is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and we hope to educate our community on this very important issue. In our communities, the Hays-Caldwell Women’s Center has been serving victims of domestic and dating violence, sexual assault and child abuse since 1978. Last year, HCWC served 2,060 victims of abuse (face-to-face) primarily from Hays and Caldwell Counties. 1,044 of those were victims of domestic violence.
Being part of something bigger than ourselves and belonging to a community that makes us feel seen and known brings many of us comfort and security to our existence. This feeling may come from a deep reverence for nature, profound love for an animal companion, commitment to a social movement, dedication to a lifestyle or a spiritual practice or faith. These varying connections are deeply personal, and they can help us create relationships with others in powerful ways. While there can be a profound sense of fulfillment in finding such a community, there can also be a higher risk of manipulation, unhealthy dynamics or outright abuse in these relationships or communities.
A supportive community will recognize abuse and seek ways to support survivors that are suffering.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH YOUR COMMUNITY IS HELPING OR HURTING?
• Healthy communities celebrate difference while unhealthy communities expect sameness.
• Healthy communities support growth, but unhealthy communities undermine growth.
• Healthy communities respect boundaries and unhealthy communities are inconsiderate of boundaries.
• Healthy communities address issues of harm while unhealthy communities ignore or try to explain away experiences of harm. If you feel like you are being encouraged to grow and have healthy relationships with yourself and others, that can be a green flag. If you feel your identity and abilities are flawed, you are being told to change who you are, or that you must accept mistreatment of yourself or others, that is a red flag. At the end of the day, your faith, spiritual practice or your experience of being connected to something beyond yourself should empower your life in a positive way.
If you have concerns about someone in your faith-based/spiritual community, want to learn how to look at the health of your community, or learn more about this topic in general, please check out our website stopthehurt. org. If you or someone you know needs help with an abusive relationship, please call our 24hour HELPline at 512396-4357 to talk to our advocates and learn more about advocacy, counseling and group therapy options for survivors.
Article written by Ely Doyle, HCWC Primary Prevention Coordinator; Lydia Dobbins, HCWC Marla’s Place Program Director and Hanyue Zhang-Hall, LMSW HCWC Non-Residential Children’s Counselor II.
