SYNDICATED COLUMNIST
This summer, my wife and I took a vacation with our three semi-grown daughters to one of the most expensive places in America. No, we didn’t visit our local insurance office. We toured several beautiful and fascinating cities in New England.
Our first stop was Newburyport, Massachusetts. We hadn’t planned to visit this charming coastal city, but after deplaning, securing a rental vehicle ginormous enough to accommodate the US Olympic Team (or our luggage), and heading north to our first planned destination, we were starving – at least I was. We found a restaurant in the historical downtown area, and in the euphoria of the moment, I made the grave error of telling the girls to order whatever they wanted. After we inhaled appetizers of delectable clam “chowdah,” I heard my youngest and quietest daughter say something to the server about swordfish, and, unfortunately, she wasn’t asking how to catch one. Oh, well, I hear that retirement is overrated, anyway.
Next on our list was scenic Portland, Maine. I had always wondered if the local Mainers would continuously force-feed us lobster rolls once we crossed the state line, which didn’t sound too bad to me. I soon discovered, much to my wallet’s dismay, that the lobster in Maine, though scrumptious, isn’t complimentary– or even “buy one, get one free.”
The highlight of our time in Portland was a sunset visit to the Portland Head Light in Cape Elizabeth. Standing on a craggy shoreline, the lighthouse is truly stunning. In fact, I risked life, limb and vital organs crawling around on wave-slicked rocks while helping my daughters take some “fire” Instagram pics. We were all “high-key” amazed by the view – I think.
After Portland, we headed to Boston for what I thought would be a truly educational experience in one of the most historically significant cities in the nation. Instead, I was soon following my daughters down what is often called “the most expensive street in America.” Newbury Street in the Back Bay area is best known for its Victorian brownstone buildings and, most of all, the shopping. I spent the next several hours loitering outside historical sites like T.J. Maxx, Sunglasses Hut and Urban Outfitters.
The next morning, we strolled down to Boston Harbor to go whale watching, which is basically what our neighbors do when I trim the hedges without a shirt. Watching the humpback whales breach and dive was truly amazing, but it would have been even more amazing if I had remembered to use sunscreen and my head didn’t wind up looking like a massive pomegranate.
Next on our itinerary was a jaunt to Saratoga Springs, New York, to visit this beautiful resort town for some shopping (of course) and a concert featuring some of our daughters’ favorite musical artists, Niall Horan and Del Water Gap – singers who would probably consider me old enough to have to use Google to find out who the heck they are. The concert was terrific, but I expected that, at any moment, my wife and I would be escorted to the geezer enclosure.
We finished our trip with a brief but fun visit to Providence, Rhode Island, where we ate seafood in the Federal Hill neighborhood, shopped, went on a historical “ghost” walk in the College Hill neighborhood, shopped and shopped.
My wife and I know that the days of vacationing as a family are numbered, so we’re taking advantage of the opportunity while we can. On trips like these, we’re encouraging our girls to love their family and live life to the fullest– just not order the swordfish.
Copyright 2024 Jase Graves distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.
Graves is an award-winning humor columnist from East Texas. His columns have been featured in Texas Escapes magazine, The Shreveport Times, The Longview News Journal, and The Kilgore News Herald. Contact Graves at [email protected].
