I never met my grandfather. He died when my Dad was very young. From then on, my grandma began dating men that were not the best influences on my Dad, my uncle, Justin, and my aunt, Danya. They were exposed to drugs and alcohol at a very young age from those men. My Dad then continued down that dark path and became a drug addict and alcoholic. Growing up with a father that was always under certain influences, I faced many challenges. I had to step up and be the adult when I would visit him during the summers in California. When I was six I had to pay for us to ride the bus with my birthday money because he was broke and had lost his licenses due to multiple DUI’s. He accused me of “trying to break him and his girlfriend up” when I twelve because I alerted her that he was drinking vodka, not water out of his water bottle while driving me and my little sister to the movies. When I was thirteen, I had to grab a needle out of my three year-old sisters hands that she found left on the floor of his closet. When I was eighteen, he finally decided that it was time to get clean. My sister and I attended narcotics anonymous meetings with him where we heard the stories of people who faced similar circumstances. We also were able to hear our dad speak of the horrendous things he did and what he believed to be the causes behind them. He blamed his actions on those of his father and his mother’s boyfriends. As he stood there talking, I contemplated how it all fit together. I questioned why his circumstances altered him the way they did while my circumstances led me to avoid drugs all together. He chose to use his hardships as an excuse for his wrong doings while I choose to use my hardships as motivation to be better than my father so that I may someday be the mother that my children deserve. That is when I realized, everyone has hard times in their lives. Everybody has that seemingly monumental event or events that has the possibility to derail their lives. However, what we choose to do with those events determines our character. We can either choose to continue the cycle of pain by committing the same actions that harmed us, or we can break the cycle and create a better future for us and those to come.
Cortney Absher
